Communication
by La Fuego
Summary: If you were given access to Echizen's emails, or perhaps to a letter addressed to Tezuka, or maybe even to Oishi's phone messages... what would you learn about these princes of tennis?
1. Chapter 1: Ryoma's Emails

**Chapter: **1/3  
**Genre:** Romance (?)  
**Beta:** pinksnow1986  
**Pairing:** It's actually rather complicated... Please read to find out  
**Disclaimers: **PoT not mine. Still on my wish list...  
**Summary: **If you were given access into Ryoma's e-mail account and be able to go through his e-mails within the past year, what would you learn about _this_ prince of tennis?

**Author's Notes:** I played around with the format for this fic and it's presented in e-mails mostly. As would not allow me to tupe in the mail addresses, I sorta just spelled it out. TT I think the mail addies lost something to them because they don't appear as I'd intended for them to appear, but well, c'est la vie. In case you're interested, this fic was first put up in an LJ account. Drop me a line if you wanna see it. You'll see the original format for this fic in there.

**Some need-to-know stuff:**  
1. The following are the four grand slam tennis tournaments:  
- Australian Open (held every January in Melbourne)  
- French Open a.k.a. Roland Garros (held over a two-week period from mid-May to early June in Paris)  
- Wimbledon (held over a two-week period between June and July in London)  
- U.S. Open (held over a two-week period between August and Spetember in New York City)  
2. A calendar year grand slam is said to have been achieved if a player wins all four of the above-mentioned tournaments within one calendar year.

**Communication Ch.1: Ryoma's E-mails**

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You sat at the airport's waiting lounge, your laptop's familiar weight and heat a comforting presence on your lap. After being prompted for and typing in your username and password, you peeled your eyes away from the computer screen to furtively glance around you, giving your computer a few seconds to process the information you provided and gain access to your mail account.

As you looked around the busy passenger terminal, a part of you whispered insistently, asking you if you knew what you were doing… if this is the right thing to do. How did you end up here, anyway?

A soft chime from your computer indicating a successful log-in stole your attention again. You looked at the monitor to come face-to-face with the answer to the last question your mind asked of you.

_How did you end up here, anyway?_

02 Jan 2006, the date on the oldest mail in that page indicated. Yes, exactly one year ago. That's how it all started. That was how you ended up in here…

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**Date:** Mon, 02 Jan 2006 20:18:19 (TST)

**To:** Echizen Ryoma (ryobuchou-pp at jmail), Fuji Syuusuke (close-i-tensai at jmail), Inui Sadaharu (juiceofdeath at jmail), Kaidoh Kaoru (iflookscouldkill at jmail), Kawamura Takashi (burningsushi at jmail), Kikumaru Eiji (energizer-nya at jmail) Momoshiro Takeshi (momochan-dun at jmail), Ryuuzaki Sumire (die-banjii at jmail), Tezuka Kunimitsu (laps-now at jmail)  
**From: **Oishi Shuuichiro (half-of-a-pair at jmail)  
**Subject: **PARTY!

It's been quite a while, minna. I hope everyone's doing great.

As most of you probably already know, Tezuka will be leaving for the Australian Open in Melbourne next week. He'll be gone for quite a while… two years, in fact. He is determined to achieve two calendar year grand slams—in a row. So far, in the Men's Singles category, only Rod Laver has accomplished the feat of getting two calendar year grand slams, but those two grand slams were 6 years apart. Tezuka is determined to beat that.

So, in line with that, I've organized a little get-together. I'd like to invite everybody to Taka-san's sushi place this coming Saturday evening, 6:30pm. This will be an all-in-one party: a sort of reunion for Seigaku's Tennis Nationals team, a belated congratulatory party for Kaidoh-kun and Momoshiro-kun's high school graduation, but mostly, this will be Tezuka's farewell bash.

Hope to see everyone there!

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**Date:** Sun, 08 Jan 2006 09:25:16 (TST)

**To:** Echizen Ryoma (ryobuchou-pp at jmail)  
**From: **Momoshiro Takeshi (momochan-dun at jmail)  
**Subject: **Where the hell were you?

Hey Echizen! What happened to you, man? Why weren't you at Tezuka-buchou's farewell party?

You know, I still think it's kind of funny that we still call him 'buchou' even though it's been more or less 2 years since he and the other senpais graduated from high school and actually, _you _are the high school tennis club's team captain now.

At any rate, you missed one heck of a party. And Taka-san's sushi-ya still serves the best sushi in town! I bet you're really regretting not going now.

Give me a holler back, man. At least let me know you're still alive.

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**Date:** Sun, 08 Jan 2006 15:03:45 (TST)

**To:** Momoshiro Takeshi (momochan-dun at jmail)  
**From: **Echizen Ryoma (ryobuchou-pp at jmail)  
**Subject: **The Requisite Excuse Letter

I'm sorry I missed the party. I had stuff I needed to do. I only have 3 months before graduation, you know? And for that same reason, all the teachers seem to have gotten a maggot inside their heads that told them the graduating class didn't have enough to do so they're doing their best to drown us with school requirements. I don't know what they're hoping to achieve by this sudden sadistic onslaught. Probably hoping to bring down the number of graduates. If that is so, then they could probably strike out Horio's name from the list of graduates as early as now.

As for the title 'buchou', we all know that it really doesn't belong to me. Like it didn't really belong to Kaidoh-senpai back in middle school. In the same manner that it didn't really belong to you last year, either (what Tezuka-buchou ate and made him decide to name you team captain, I have yet to figure out – he probably thought it would be a riot to appoint a captain who would be crazy enough to actually pick two vice-captains, neither of whom were very social at best); we're just temporary custodians of the title.

So yeah, I'm still alive. My teachers are working on changing that pretty soon, though. I'll probably catch you on the next get-together. Maybe.

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**Date:** Tue, 10 Jan 2006 21:18:17 (TST)

**To:** Echizen Ryoma (ryobuchou-pp at jmail)  
**From: **Fuji Syuusuke (close-i-tensai at jmail)  
**Subject: **Last Chance

Hello, Echizen. So you're still using this e-mail address.

Tezuka's taking the 2:00pm Qantas Airlines flight to Melbourne tomorrow. He will be leaving from the 2nd terminal of Narita International Airport. Some of us will be seeing him off.

Knowing you, you'd probably pretend indifference to this. You might even have that sardonic twist to your lips as you wonder why I'm bothering to tell you this. So in case you've forgotten who this is, Echizen, let me remind you that I know this e-mail address was created a year before your first appointment to captaincy in middle school; and while you do have 'arrogant' included in your list of traits, 'conceited' is not one of them. I know what the 'buchou' in your e-mail address is referring to—and it isn't you. Besides, did you really think nobody would guess what the 'pp' stood for?

Since you didn't attend Tezuka's farewell party, this would be your last chance to see him in a long while. Besides, Eiji has been wanting to see you for a while now. Perhaps we'll see you tomorrow, then.

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**Date:** Sat, 21 Jan 2006 23:48:55 (AUS EDT)

**To:** Echizen Ryoma (ryobuchou-pp at jmail)  
**From: **Tezuka Kunimitsu (laps-now at jmail)  
**Subject: **Thank you

Hello, Echizen. I trust that you are doing well.

Thank you for your e-mail and your well-wishes. I do appreciate them. I arrived here safely last week, thank you for asking. And no, I don't hold it against you that you were not able to see me off at the airport, although I would have been glad to see you at least once before I left.

But I do know how demanding school can get. And you now have the tennis team to take care of as well. I, more than anybody else, could understand what that's like. Do your best always.

_Yuudan sezu ni ikou_.

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**Date:** Fri, 31 Mar 2006 17:33:42 (TST)

**To:** Echizen Ryoma (ryobuchou-pp at jmail)  
**From: **Inoue Mamoru (inoue at monthly-pro-tennis)  
**Subject: **Congratulations!

Congratulations on your graduation, Echizen-kun! This must have been quite a year for you, what with you and your Doubles 1 team getting a National-level ranking. I'm only sorry that the rest of your team did not qualify for the Nationals—but considering that only 3 people in your team actually live up to par with the standards set by your old senpais who have graduated before, I think it's to be expected. I am pleasantly surprised, though, that Kachiro-kun and Katsuo-kun took to heart Momoshiro-kun's advice to not seek after Singles supremacy, but to turn their focus onto dominance in the Doubles category. It was sensible advice as aside from the Golden Pair, the team really needed another sound doubles pair.

Moving on, though, I was wondering what you're planning for the future. Do you intend to go on to college? Or perhaps you would like to play tennis professionally now that you've graduated from high school? Please do let me know. I would like to write something of a farewell article. Your tennis team, led by Tezuka-kun, has become something of a legend, you know. And you are the last one who has been a part of that legend to graduate and move on to other things. I would like to write an article on what all of you are doing now—or in your particular case, _going_ to do.

I thank you as early as now in the hopes that you would humor me and give in to this last request of mine. And congratulations once again!

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**Date:** Sun, 11 Jun 2006 10:31:12 (TST)

**To:** Echizen Ryoma (ryobuchou-pp at jmail), Fuji Syuusuke (close-i-tensai at jmail), Inui Sadaharu (juiceofdeath at jmail), Kaidoh Kaoru (iflookscouldkill at jmail), Kawamura Takashi (burningsushi at jmail), Kikumaru Eiji (energizer-nya at jmail), Momoshiro Takeshi (momochan-dun at jmail), Ryuuzaki Sumire (die-banjii at jmail), Inoue Mamoru (inoue at monthly-pro-tennis), Shiba Saori (shiba at monthly-pro-tennis)  
**From: **Oishi Shuuichiro (half-of-a-pair at jmail)  
**Subject: **Updates

Hello, minna. I just wanted to let everyone know that Tezuka is slowly but surely making his dream come true. To everyone's utter surprise, he seemingly came out of nowhere and swept both the Australian and French Open. He is now getting ready to take on Wimbledon.

He sends his regards to everyone. And he and I both hope that everyone is doing well.

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**Date:** Mon, 24 Jul 2006 18:23:24 (TST)

**To:** Echizen Ryoma (ryobuchou-pp at jmail)  
**From: **Kikumaru Eiji (energizer-nya at jmail)  
**Subject: **Pouting

Mou, Ochibi! Which rock have you been hiding under?! How come we barely see you anymore, nya? And on those rare occasions we do get to be with you, you always seem so distracted! TT Fujiko seems to know something but every time I ask, he just smiles at me and changes the subject. Nya, did you two talk or something? pouts

And why weren't you at Momo's birthday party yesterday??? He's swearing to do you some serious bodily harm the next time he sees you, you know. He said that brief e-mail you sent him greeting him a happy birthday is not enough to get you off the hook. Maa, you two! Honestly!

Demo ne, for some reason, I kind of get the feeling that you're trying to avoid us. Ne, Ochibi, are you mad at us or something? We've scarcely ever seen you or been with you since Tezuka left. Is something wrong, nya? Get back to me soon. Or I'll sic Inui on you with his latest juice! XP

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**Date:** Fri, 01 Dec 2006 19:09:19 (TST)

**To:** Echizen Ryoma (ryobuchou-pp at jmail)  
**From: **Momoshiro Takeshi (momochan-dun at jmail)  
**Subject: **… So help me…

What the hell is going on with you, man? We don't hear from you for months at a time, you never showed for my birthday (for which I haven't forgiven you yet, by the way), you're never home when we drop by your place, and you never even deem it worthy of your time to reply to our e-mails!

And now we learn (from Inoue-san, no less!) that you've been undergoing intensive tennis training with your dad since your graduation. We had to learn from someone _else_ that you are gearing up to take on the four Grand Slam titles. What the hell?! I would have thought we were better friends than that, Echizen!

And what made you decide to take on this path? You never said anything about turning pro back when we were in school. I know you'd always mutter things about beating the crap out of your dad, but never about making it big in the professional circuit… Does this have anything to do with Tezuka-buchou?

So help me, Echizen, I am going to…

I thought we've been over this. I thought you were over _him_. I thought you've decided that it was just some juvenile crush-thing. That it was just a really bad case of hero-worship.

Look, if you're going to take your tennis to the professional level because you really want to, I say, 'Good for you!'. Heaven knows you have more than enough talent and drive to do it. But, hell, if you're doing this because you hope to run into Tezuka-buchou while you're there, I'm telling you straight-out – don't do it.

Things have changed, man. There are a whole lot more things to consider now. It's not just about you and him now.

I never took you for the stupid sort, Echizen. Don't prove me wrong now.

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You heaved a deep sigh and wondered just how in the world…

A wry smile found its way to your lips somehow.

_You're guessing that you guys weren't friends for so long for nothing, after all._

You closed your eyes tightly for a scant second. When you opened them, that familiar, determined glint was back in their golden depths. Determinedly, you positioned your fingers over the keys…

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**Date:** Tue, 02 Jan 2007 09:40:09 (TST)

**To:** Momoshiro Takeshi (momochan-dun at jmail)  
**From: **Echizen Ryoma (ryobuchou-pp at jmail)  
**Sunject: **I apologize

I don't really know what to say to you aside from "I'm sorry". You know I've never really been the best of communicators. It seems that now is not an exception. And having to tell you these things I'm about to through an e-mail seems so trite… and yet I don't think I'd be able to tell you any other way.

I'm leaving for Australia in a few minutes, Momo-senpai. I am going after the one thing I knew I've always wanted but have always denied. I realize now that it was pretty stupid of me to try to shrug it off and pretend that it was nothing. That it was _just_ a passing fancy, that it was _just_ some bizarre kind of infatuation. It was never _just_ anything; there was nothing small or insignificant about it! … I guess I was just too much of an idiot to recognize it for what it was—or perhaps I was just too young.

…But when he left… I felt like it was _me_ he left behind. He has always been there. For us. For me. Even after he graduated from high school, if there was anything that went wrong, all I had to do was seek him out, make him hit a few sets with me, and all was right in my world again. I took it for granted that, at least, we could always stay like that. That if nothing else, I would always have him in my life like that. And I thought that it was enough. But then he left…

I don't expect you to understand me, Momo-senpai. Hell, half the time I don't even understand myself. But I do ask that you don't hate me for making this decision. **I want him**. I have to at least try. You can understand at least that much, can't you?

If it's any consolation, I'll tell you how it goes…

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TBC…

_La Fuego 4/2007_

**Author's Notes:  
**1) I'm sorry if the format of this fic weirded you out. I just thought I'd try it out. The next chapters will be better, I promise.

2) My wonderful beta already pointed out that the length of Ryoma's e-mails and the amount of words in it doesn't seem in synch with Ryoma's not too verbose character. We are all too familiar with Ryoma's tendency to be reticent when it comes to verbalizing his thoughts. However, I thought that a story needs to be told here--and condsidering that these are typed out, not spoken, it might be possible for Ryoma to be just a bit more expressive than he usually is. I mean, isn't it generally easier to get something said and out in the open when you're writing them down instead of saying them out loud? Besides, his e-mails are addressed to Momo. One of his closest friends. I thought it's plausible that he might feel safe enough to open up to him more than he would with others. Or maybe this is just me being bull-headed. At any rate, please don't think my beta was remiss in her duty if you think that my Ryoma was OOC.

3) Comments/reviews feed me and keep me alive. Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2: Tezuka's Letter

**Chapter: **2/3  
**Genre:** Angst  
**Beta:** pinksnow1986  
**Pairing:** It's actually rather complicated... Please read to find out  
**Disclaimers: **PoT not mine. Still on my wish list...  
**Summary: **Take a peek at a letter addressed to Tezuka; what would you learn about _this_ prince of tennis?

**Communication Ch.2: Tezuka's Letter**

"I'm going on ahead," he told you in his solid, firm voice.

You looked up at him from the sheet of paper in your hand and you noted that despite the sureness in his voice, he had an eyebrow raised at you in question - as though asking you if you would prefer it that he did go on ahead or if you wanted him to wait for you. You only nodded once to indicate that he could take his leave.

He nodded right back, pulling that oh-so-familiar cap low over his face. "I'll see you at the practice courts, then." he said as he closed the door after him.

--------------------------------

For a few moments, you stood there staring at the closed door. In your mind's eye, you see him as you first saw him earlier this year: a head of untamed, dark locks - so black that it gleamed with a greenish tint under direct sunlight, gold-flecked hazel eyes mutedly glowing in repressed pleasure, and a lazy smile that was at once hauntingly familiar and strangely new to you.

Seeing him again after so long made you feel emotions that both warmed and chilled you.

You wondered back then what made him decide to take on the pro tennis circuit. But he never volunteered the information, and you never asked him. After the circus that was the first day of the Australian Open, he knocked on your hotel room door, carrying with him what appeared to be all the worldly possessions he'd brought with him, and entered your room as if he belonged there. And he stayed.

--------------------------------

Despite the fact that his participation in the tennis tournaments had disrupted your plans for two consecutive calendar year grand slams, there is no denying that you were grateful for his presence.

Off the courts, he was a wonderful companion: smart, opinionated, and he understood your need for silences. On the courts, he was perfection personified. You had never felt so vibrantly alive in the tennis courts until he stood opposite you on the other side of the net; there is the sheer thrill of playing the sport that you love so well that only he can elevate to something akin to a religious experience.

And you were looking forward to more of that. He may have taken the Australian and French Open from you, but you took Wimbledon from him. And you sure as heck were intent on winning the US Open.

--------------------------------

You gave a small smile as you remembered his smirk when he won his first championship against you in the Australian Open and apologized about taking away your second calendar year grand slam, not looking sorry at all. And then you remembered how that smirk quickly evaporated and was replaced by a slightly mystified look when you just smiled sweetly at him and said that it didn't matter because at any rate, you're written down in tennis history as the first Japanese to be the world's no.1.

--------------------------------

Yours was a strange relationship - specifically because you weren't exactly sure what kind of relationship you did share. Or perhaps, because of the complications that would surely ensue, you refused to acknowledge the kind of relationship that he wanted to pursue with you.

He certainly didn't leave any room for doubts about his feelings for you when he tackled you and almost drowned you in deep kisses when the two of you were back in the privacy of your hotel room right after he won his first championship.

You looked at the tangled sheets and the pillows cluttering the unmade bed you shared with him. Looking at it, anybody would be hard-pressed to believe that aside from heavy make-out sessions, nothing has happened between the two of you yet. He had begun to sense your hesitancy to commit to him, but he never said anything about it. Perhaps you should be thankful for that… but you only felt excruciating guilt gnawing at your insides.

You looked back at the letter you were still holding in your hand and you were perplexed. Suddenly, a sharp mental picture of deep green eyes came to your mind, but it was gone as quickly as it had come, not even giving you time to fully grasp the mental image.

With a heavy sigh, you turned towards the oak desk sitting in the corner of your room and tugged at one of its drawers. Carefully, you tucked in the letter into the bottom of the drawer, pushed it close, and turned towards your tennis bag.

It's about time you headed out to the tennis courts. Besides, you needed to think.

--------------------------------

_Tezuka,_

_I do not claim to be one of those people who are truly blessed with the gift of words. I've had my share of tactless moments and times when I stumbled over my own thoughts. But for some reason, when it really mattered, I always seemed to know the right words to say. When things fell apart, I was the one people turned to for words of comfort. When ragged emotions were on the line, I always seemed to be able to say exactly what was needed to be heard._

_That being the case, do you not think it is one of the greatest ironies that I now cannot find the proper ones to tell you exactly how I feel? How do I begin to tell you of the uncertainty that tears at my gut at the mere thought of you? Do you want to know of the tears I've shed over our last two phone conversations? Have you any idea how distant you sounded to me? How extremely unemotional your "I love you's" were, as if you were saying them from the habit that they've grown into rather than from any real feelings you used to have for me? Do you know that when you tried to reassure me that you will soon come home to me, you sounded like you were steeling yourself to fulfill an obligation you cannot now turn your back on? _

_But as much as it hurts, I know that I cannot ever blame you. Two years is a long time. It's enough time to get myself lost in the here and now. It's time enough for you to lose track of the person I've become. I say it's just the way these things work. I did tell you, didn't I? Before you left, I tried to warn you that after two years, it is possible that you would have changed enough to realize that you do not want someone such as I by your side. _

_Up until now, I can't rightly say what it was that made you choose not to believe my words. We've been best friends since we were 12 years old, for crying out loud! Didn't you think I knew you enough to predict how things would be between us? But I was stupid. I chose to be stupid. I chose to believe in you when you said that a trifling thing like a mere two years do not stand a chance against what we had. But it was a good fantasy. It gave me something to cling to these past 2 years whenever fate's screwed up sense of humor decided to make me the butt of her jokes. _

_Your last letter was less than promising. I've read and re-read it countless times and despite the reassurance tacked on at the end of it almost as an afterthought, I am not comforted. I do not want to be an obligation. Tezuka, you made many promises to me before you left, but I pray you know that I will never hold you to them if your heart is no longer truly mine. I love you. So much so that I would rather give you the chance to find that someone who will be everything to you. I rather hoped that I would be that someone. I wanted to be your everything just as you are mine. _

_… I am making a complete muck out of this. I am grasping for words that constantly elude me. So perhaps, this is enough for now. Though before I end, I just want to remind you that if your continued avowals of love are done out of some misguided desire to spare me pain, I hope you realize that it is infinitely kinder for you to let me know now that the magic we discovered after 6 years of plain friendship is gone. Let me shed my tears for them now. Let me mourn my loss. And then maybe, just maybe, I may yet be able to welcome my best friend home with a smile._

_Shuuichiro_

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_TBC…_

_La Fuego 4/2007_


	3. Chapter 3: Oishi's Phone Messages

**Chapter: **3/3  
**Genre:** Angst, Romance (?)  
**Beta:** pinksnow1986  
**Pairing:** It's actually rather complicated... Please read to find out  
**Disclaimers: **PoT not mine. Still on my wish list...  
**Summary: **If you were privy to Oishi's phone messages, what would you learn about _this_ prince of tennis?

**Communication Ch.3: Oishi's Phone Messages**

_---------------------------------------_

"Hello, this is Oishi. Sorry I can't get to the phone right now. Hopefully, I'm out trying to get a life. But you know the drill: leave a message after the beep and I'll try to get back to you as soon as I can."

_**::beep::**_

"Shuuichiro, Tezuka here. I'm coming home. I'll see you soon."

_**::beep… repeating message::**_

"Shuuichiro…"

_**::beep… repeating message::**_

"Shuuichiro…"

_---------------------------------------_

You close your eyes and revel in the gradual loosening in the tightness in your chest.

"_Shuuichiro",_ he'd said in the message.

He began calling you that when you started formally going out together right after your high school graduation. How long has it been since he last called you by your name?

About two years ago, he left. He went chasing after his dream with the promise to return to you. A part of you wanted to be selfish; you wanted to stamp your feet like a two-year old and demand that he stay with you… But that was never your style, was it? So you looked him straight in the eye, gave him your most encouraging smile, and the only concession you would give to your selfishness was to ask that he write you and call you as often as he can.

_---------------------------------------_

The first year apart had been… bearable. He kept his side of the bargain and somehow, you were content.

But something changed somewhere along the start of the second year. The calls had been brief and infrequent. The letters had been all but impersonal. You felt lost and insecure. You wondered what has happened. Did you do something wrong? Has he grown tired of the quasi-relationship you had going on? You needed a gauge. You needed something that would indicate where you now stood with him as he seemed unwilling to talk about it. If only you can hear him say your name…

But for some strange reason, he managed to avoid giving any clues away - every time he called, he somehow got away with not calling you anything at all… least of all, your name.

_**::beep… repeating message::**_

But now, you give a tired, relieved smile.

"_Shuuichiro, Tezuka here…"_

_---------------------------------------_

**1 Text Message Received**

**Read Message**

**Date:** Jan 23, 2008  
**From:** Fuji (+819038812448)

Haven't seen you and Tezuka since he got  
back to Japan, Oishi. Is everything okay  
with you guys? We'll have a get-together this  
coming Friday at Taka-san's. 6pm. Be there.

_---------------------------------------_

He had that thoughtful look on his face again, you can tell even though you are presented only with his side profile. He was sitting on the windowsill, back supported by one of the window frames, one leg stretched out before him, the other bent at the knee, supporting his arm. You noticed that the hand at the end of that arm was holding a letter.

You recognize it as the last letter you ever sent him before he came home.

You knew the second he noticed your presence by the doorway of the living room when his back stiffened ever so slightly, and then he turned to you.

"What happened, Tezuka?"

He didn't ask for a clarification as to what you were asking about. He knew perfectly well what you were asking. But instead of answering, he held his other arm out to you and you willingly walked up to him.

You felt his strong arms encircle your waist as he buried his face into your chest. Tenderly, your arms went around him, lovingly cradling his head.

"I am so sorry," he feelingly whispered, as the letter he held in his hand fluttered down to the floor, unheeded.

For the briefest of moments, your arms tightened around him before he slightly pulled away from you.

He looked up at you, eyes bright with the tears that will never know what the feel of the skin on his cheeks are like.

You leaned down to kiss him then.

_And the tightness in your chest eased just a bit more._

_---------------------------------------_

"You have reached the voice mailbox for Oishi Shuuichiro (+9038818913). Please leave your voice message after the tone."

_**::beep::**_

"Nya, Oishi! I always seem to be getting your voice mailbox these days! Mou, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were hiding from me!

Nante ne!

At any rate, it was great hanging out with you and Tezuka again. I'm happy that things seem to be going great for you, nya. With how you were before Tezuka came home, I was afraid I'd be doing a lot of "comforting Oishi" to do. Glad that isn't the case, nya!

Sore ja!"

_**::beep::**_

_---------------------------------------_

In the end, you never did learn from him what happened. Whatever it was that almost took him away from you seemed to be something he was all too ready to forget. The few times you attempted to broach the subject, he would always get that remorseful, shuttered look in his eyes. It was painful to see.

And so you would smile at him. And then kiss him.

And oh, how he kissed back! His kisses during those moments had a touch of desperation to them, so sharp that you could almost taste it. He clung to you as though reassuring himself that he hadn't lost you. And he made sweet love to you as though pleasuring you was his only reason for existence.

Yes, sometimes it was too painful to see. And at the very end, you stopped asking altogether.

_---------------------------------------_

It is a usual Sunday morning. Quiet. Relaxing.

You are content to sit across from him in the breakfast table as he read the morning paper. You are rudely jolted from the vague, whimsical thoughts you were absently entertaining, however, when the chiming of your cell phone informs you that someone has sent you a text message.

You flip your phone open to see who it was from…

**Read Message**

**Date:** Feb 03, 2008  
**From:** Echizen (+819038965680)

So in the end he chose you, after all.  
You did tell me it would end like this.  
I should have listened to you. Take care  
of him, Oishi-senpai.

"Who was that?" he asks you curiously from across the table.

You look up at him and for the briefest of moments you are tempted to tell him the truth. You want to see what kind of face he'd make if he hears his name again. You give him a smile instead.

"No one. Just one of those info-messages the service provider sometimes sends," you answer pleasantly.

You may disapprove of his methods, you may prefer to hear the truth from him, but you can certainly appreciate his intentions.

_Indeed, you are hurting._

But he's trying so hard to spare you the pain he doesn't know you already feel. His relief and his elation at thinking that he is accomplishing this goal is almost a palpable thing. You cannot seem to make yourself take that away from him.

You are mentally kicking yourself already. And calling yourself 10 kinds of fool. A part of you is vehemently insisting that you're no martyr.

**Delete message?**

He smiles at you. One of those rare, beautiful smiles that light up his entire face.

**OK**

You smile back.

**Message Deleted**

… After all, the concept of self-sacrifice is not entirely new to you.

_Owari_

_La Fuego 4/2007_


End file.
